Monday, March 9, 2026

I Read This Poem Aloud to Punish My Students

Read part IV of "The Bells" by Edgar Allan Poe:

Hear the tolling of the bells -Iron bells!
What a world of solemn thought their monody compels!
In the silence of the night, How we shiver with affright
At the melancholy menace of their tone!
For every sound that floats
From the rust within their throats
Is a groan.
And the people - ah, the people -
They that dwell up in the steeple,
All alone,
And who, tolling, tolling, tolling,
In that muffled monotone,
Feel a glory in so rolling
On the human heart a stone -
They are neither man nor woman -
They are neither brute nor human -
They are Ghouls: -
And their king it is who tolls: -
And he rolls, rolls, rolls,
Rolls
A paean from the bells!
And his merry bosom swells
With the paean of the bells!
And he dances, and he yells;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the paean of the bells: -
Of the bells:
Keeping time, time, time
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the throbbing of the bells -
Of the bells, bells, bells: -
To the sobbing of the bells: -
Keeping time, time, time,
As he knells, knells, knells,
In a happy Runic rhyme,
To the rolling of the bells -
Of the bells, bells, bells -
To the tolling of the bells -
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells, -
 To the moaning and the groaning of the bells.

What literary term is used way too much in this poem?


a. allusion
b. hyperbole
c. repetition
d. verbal irony
































Scroll down for the answer.






















_________________________
c. is the correct answer.


Teachers!  The title to this selection is true.  When you need to get your class's attention, pull out this poem and start reading it.  Every time someone speaks, rolls their eyes, put their head down, etc., say that it distracted you and now you have to start all over.  Once you make it all the way through the poem, just pin your copy of the poem to the wall.  Whenever in the future you need to regain their attention, just walk toward the poem and watch the kids get each other in line.  Best form of passive aggressive  classroom discipline ever! 
~

Friday, March 6, 2026

Haiku - Bless You!

 Read this haiku from Basho:


Sick on my journey, 
only my dreams will wander 
these desolate moors 



This poem is about:


a. traveling
b. death
c. birth
d. being sick on vacation










See comments for answer.

Thursday, March 5, 2026

Jupiter Is a Jerk

Read the following fable by Aesop:

Two neighbors came before Jupiter and prayed him to grant their hearts’ desire. Now the one was full of avarice, and the other eaten up with envy. So to punish them both, Jupiter granted that each might have whatever he wished for himself, but only on condition that his neighbor had twice as much. The Avaricious man prayed to have a room full of gold. No sooner said than done; but all his joy was turned to grief when he found that his neighbor had two rooms full of the precious metal. Then came the turn of the Envious man, who could not bear to think that his neighbor had any joy at all. So he prayed that he might have one of his own eyes put out, by which means his companion would become totally blind.

What is most likely the moral of this story?


a. Be careful what you wish for.
b. Vices are their own punishment.
c. To be envious is better than to be greedy.
d. It is better to give than to receive.







Scroll down for the answer.









________________________________
a. is incorrect.  The first man gets his wish for a room full of gold .  There is nothing wrong with it.  He can't enjoy it because he is so greedy that he can't stand for his neighbor to have more.  This is the best wrong answer.
b. is correct.  See above.  The greedy man can't enjoy his own wish because somebody has more.  The envious man wastes his wish on losing an eye so that his neighbor would lose both.  It was their own vices that led to their unhappiness.
c. is incorrect.  This is completely wrong.  Both are bad and neither is praised over the other.
d. is incorrect.  It is nice, but the only giving here is punishments.


Wednesday, March 4, 2026

She sells seashells, too.

​Read the following:


Wallace walked wearily while wondering where Wendal was.


What literary device does this sentence rely on?


A. Simile
B. Alliteration
C. Hyperbole
D. Personification










Scroll down for the answer.
























________________________________________________




The correct Answer is B.


Thanks to Ezra for this excellent and egregiously terribly twisty tongue teaser. If you want more tongue twisters, try this site: http://www.engvid.com/english-resource/50-tongue-twisters-improve-pronunciation/


Tuesday, March 3, 2026

At Least It Has a Happy Ending

Read the following passage:


In Romeo + Juliet, the newer movie, there is a scene early in the movie where the Montague Boys drive into a gas station.  The gas station is called Phoenix Gas.  It is here that we first meet Tybalt and the other Capulets.


You do not need anything else.  Based on the above passage, what will happen here?


a. Romeo and Juliet will fall in love.
b. Juliet will first turn down Romeo, but will later fall in love with him.
c. The gas station will explode.
d. Tybalt will die.
















Scroll down for the answer.














____________________
In order to answer this question, you did not have to have read The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet (in fact, it would not have helped you) and you do not need to have watched the movie.  All you need to pay attention to is the name of the gas station.  A Phoenix is a mythological bird that catches on fire every so often and emerges again from the ashes.  Fire and gas do not go well together.  This is foreshadowing (a hint of what will happen later in the story).


The correct answer is c. 


~

Monday, March 2, 2026

Spidey Kicks Butt

 Read the following taken from "Top Ten Spider-Man Stories" by J. R. Fettinger:





I was reluctant to list ["The Kid Who Collects Spider-Man"] because it is blatantly emotionally manipulative. Also Wizard put it on their top 10, and I wanted to duplicate their list as little as possible. Spider-Man fulfills the wish of a dying boy by visiting him in the hospital and simply spending some time talking to him, including answering the question "Who are you really, Spider-Man?" Yep. Spidey stares out the window for a moment of contemplation before pulling off his mask and telling the boy his real name.


Based on the above passage, what would be a good word to replace "blatantly"?



a. boringly
b. subtly 
c. obviously
d. detrimentally













Scroll down for the answer.








_______________________________________
The way to figure this out if you are not already familiar with the word blatantly to to look at the context.  Mr. Fettinger did not want to include it on the list because it was emotionally manipulative.  Well, a lot of stories can be emotionally manipulative and still be good, so there must be something about this one that makes it almost bad.  Of the answer choices, obviously manipulative is one that most people frown on.  We don't want the author's purpose to be obvious, we want it to surprise us, to grab us before we realize it.  Therefore c. is the correct answer.

If you are a fan of Spidey, check out the entire article at: http://spideykicksbutt.com/Top10s/top10Spideystories.html

Friday, February 27, 2026

Sweet Christmas!

 Look at this panel from Luke Cage: Hero for Hire #3:





What literary term is Cage using to express his anger?


a. alliteration
b. metaphor
c. allusion
d. verbal irony















Scroll down for the answer.










---------------------------------------------
The answer is C. Allusion.  Luke makes a reference to Pinocchio and a reference to another story is called an allusion.